In the words of King Solomon in Proverbs 22: 24-25, he advised us to “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul “.
“A friend is a person with whom one is in terms of mutual affection or a supporter of a cause or a person on the same side in a conflict” i.e. an associate or influencer or complaisant, “who uphold common value, belong to same class and age groups”. Among the many definitions of “friends” we find, “influencer, someone with a tendency to influence one’s thoughts, attitudes and conducts.” Adversely, the friends you keep can exert influence on your life style, attitudes and believe system. Explains in Brown 2002, “in considering the technological media representation of youths group therefore, crime and young people are bracketed together. Youths in these groups constantly bond together into Associations with the view of dissipating energies and in the process becoming innovative in their quest for domain, relevance and survival”.
Actions and influences exerted on individual by friends constitute greater percentage of wickedness and immoral practices in our nations today. Youths are preys to and are influenced by what they see, hear and think (widest imagination). They uphold a life style or attitudes not knowing or minding the impending consequences. In most cases a mere food from fast food centre, a shot of hot drink or a stick of cigarette can be an appetite, to the indigent and vulnerable ones that, friends in the making are more caring and worth dying for, also a story of how manly one or his godfather is, is enough to lure others into violent and with a convincing mindset that it is the best way to experience youthful life with zeal to surpass others records.
In Ajibade (2016), “the social impact inherent in group morality often transferable from one element in the group to another simultaneously generates most observable similarities. Latane (1981), positioned that the existence of people characterized by like-mindedness and bonding into clusters with the intention of realizing groups goals helps to provide answer to the emerging trend in crime participation among youths of contemporary times. Group influence, borrowing from Latane (1981), constitute the dynamic social impact propelling the youths to identify with their counterparts in the cyber fraud environment. Youths within this reality, Forms a bond within which their aspirations are articulated, exercised, reinforced and sustained in the atmosphere of similarly held attitudes, group values and their perception of their world (Francois, 2003). Moreover, as the number of sources increases, so often is their influence, their immediacy and number “.
According to Umar Danbatta, Nigerian Communication Commission (NCC) Chief Executive Officer during 2017 annual general Conference of Nigerian Bar Association in Lagos, the previous year (2016) prevalence rate of Internet fraud involvement is quite high in Nigeria as the country is ranked third globally behind the UK and US, with an estimated loss of #127 billion to cyber crime”.
Group influences therefore, is a force to reckon with, regarding cyber crime, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, rapes, drugs abuses and other vices among youths. In essence, social pressure to conform often leads us to behave in ways that are odds or incongruent with our inner conviction (Ajzen, 1991).
The role of group influences on initiating and reinforcing both positive and negative behaviours on youths has been widely reported by various scholars. For instance, the works by Hibbard (1985), House, Landis & Umberson, (1981) and Valente (1994) reported the contributions of group influences in youth positive behaviourial outcome. While, similar studies have also reported that group influence accounts for a significant portion of youth misbehaviours (Kandel, 1973; Fraser & Hawkins 198;, Seeman, Seeman & Sayles, 1985; Donohew, Hoile, Clayton, Skinner, Colon & Rice , 1999; Dorsey, Sherer, & Real, 1991; Ajibade, A. E. et al, 2016). These scholars general opinions are that groups identity influences individuals behaviours and this by implication suggests that the individual in groups feels affinity and desires connection with the group strata. The above signify that group influences result in most crimes and social vices in our society. In 1988 a study on sexually active college students proved that 46.3% of the women and 62.7% of the men reported having had unwanted intercourse. Peer pressure, coercion, intimidation – all led students into situations they later regretted”. (Time Magazine, June 3, 1991).
Also, the prevalence of unintended pregnancy in Nigeria for instance is high. A study carried out in two States of South-Western Nigeria by Mustafa Lamina (2015), reported a prevalence rate of unwanted pregnancy of 31.1% and abortion prevalence of 21.7%, in the study, the results were significantly higher than 19%, 21% and 26.6% reported in earlier studies from South-Western Nigeria in 1980, 1982 and 2004 respectively and 20% reported from Jos and Ife in 1996.
In United States of America, alcohol abuse has been the number one health problem among youths. According to a research at George Mason University, alcohol is a major factor in 41% of all academic problems and 28% of all college dropouts. It comes as a surprise to no one that group pressure is to be blamed.
Socrates foresaw this and write over 2509 years ago that “Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manner, contempt for authority, they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food, and tyrannize their teachers “. From Socrates view point, sins have been repackage, represented in a manner that looks like a moderate lifestyle where parents are not really bothered how their children behave and manners they put forth. But in (1 John 2:15-17) God’s words have not changed rather there are better interpretations to God’s words in this dispensation than in the years past hence present youths and followers of Christ should be more knowledgeable than youths of yesterdays in all things including knowledge of sins and how to overcome them.
In Proverbs 1:8-19, King Solomon advised his son on how to know good friends, live above group influences and chose his friends wisely. He knew as a young man, a Prince and from a wealthy family will be tempted to join a group of friends. His advice was timely – When Rehoboam was growing up, when they come telling you all sort of stories and promises do not consent to their thoughts because they are evil. But the choice was for his son Rehoboam to accept or reject the offers to join. It might be difficult, tongue twisting but your consent is paramount. Also, your “No” should be no. Disassociate and discompany yourself from them because they are bound to be pushiness, persuasion and fictitious offers over time to win you to their company “Do not be deceived; evil company corrupts good habits” (1. Corinthians 15:33). Solomon also, in Proverbs 13:20 emphasizes “Walk with the wise and become wise ; associate with fools and get in trouble (NLT)”. To him, walking in company of fraudulent friends will influence one to be fraudulent, practice fraud and are bound to face the law as earthly consequences.
However, Rehoboam forsook his father’s advice and did not seek the counsel of the elders in Israel, rather he yielded to friends advice by dividing the nation of Israel after the death of his father against his father’s wish when he had all the opportunities and resources to bind the people of God together. (1 Kings 12:4-11), Rehoboam’s influenced him and our friends too can also influence us in various ways, positively or negatively.
The manner we talk and our approaches to challenges is usually influenced by our friends. The attitude of youths towards their parents or elders is often influenced by their friends. It is unbelievable that a youth that is close to a nagging friend will respect his/her parent again at home or still discharged his/her home assigned responsibilities. Talking back at parents, putting on indecent wears, self acclaimed freedom and decisions making becomes paramount attitudes.
Also, the cloths we wear, the designs, the materials and other features are usually influenced by our friends. While it is not wrong to wear fashionable materials like T-Shirts, jeans and sport shoes, immodest dressing is sinful (1 Timothy 2:9-10), likewise some designs are full of satanic mantras which an ordinary human cannot interpret or easily understand.
When a man looks at a woman with lust in his heart, he has sinned according to Matthew 5:28. When a woman dresses (seductively) in a way that causes unlawful sexual desires and advancement in the hearts of men, she has also signed. To guide against this, Timothy was forewarned by Apostle Paul not to partake in the sins of others (1 Timothy 5:22). You are the Timothy of this generation.
Attitudes towards sex are often influenced by our friends and often climaxed by their narrations of experiences and displays of egos resulting in greater zeal for lustful life style in the name of leisure. Fornication now becomes a lifestyle to many and it is a sin against ones fresh with some trace of blood covenant during the “act” (Gal. 5:19). Fornication includes premarital sex, homosexuality and all sexual intercourse outside marriage. It is a sin against our own body (1 Cor. 6:18), characterized by lust. Sexual fulfilment therefore is to be found in marriage only. In Hebrew 13:4, the Bible affirmed that “Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge”.
If you patronize or partake in sexual immortality, you will have to worry about guilty conscience but on the contrary, your conscience will not bother you when you do what is right. Your parents will be proud of you. Above all you will not be infected with the various sexually transmitted diseases or be a victim of pregnancy out of wedlock that are ruining lives in our nations these days.
In our world of today, you are identified and so treated by the way you are, act, behave or conduct yourself. The Apostle Peter in the Bible was identified as a follower of Christ by his speech and conduct (Matthew 26:73; Mark 14:70). “Let your speech always be seasoned with grace and salt that you may know how you ought to answer one another (Col. 4:6)”. Our Lord Jesus Christ reminds us that “by our words we will be justified and by our words we will be condemned” (Matt. 12:37).
Choose your friends with care because they will have so much influences on your life with time. Choose God fearing friends who will help “refresh” you (2 Tim. 1:16) and “stir up love and good works” in His Steps (Hebrew. 10:24). In the Bible Prophet Amos emphasized that, “two cannot walk together, unless they agreed” (Amoss 3;3). Choose your friends wisely. God bless you.
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